


If You Find Yourself Caught in Love

by ken_ichijouji (dommific)



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Fic Exchange, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-13
Updated: 2012-06-13
Packaged: 2017-11-07 16:05:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/432975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dommific/pseuds/ken_ichijouji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bones suggests he and Jim take a trip to get Jim's mind off their troubles post-Narada. Jim finds out something about Bones in the process, and it forces him to reevaluate their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Find Yourself Caught in Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tresa_cho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tresa_cho/gifts).



> So this was written for the McCoy and Kirk Spring Fling fic exchange, and my recipient is my wonderful co-mod Tresa_Cho! The prompt was "too hot for sexing, go away Jim," and I ended up with 16,299 words about that.
> 
> I don't know, either.
> 
> All of the restaurants, hotels, and spots in this fic actually exist in Big Sur, California. The [Lucia Lodge](http://www.lucialodge.com/accommodations.html) is real, [Nepenthe](http://www.nepenthebigsur.com/) is real, the hiking trail to the Hermitage monastery is real, everything is real. The [Presidio Social Club](http://presidiosocialclub.com/) is also a real restaurant located in the Presidio neighborhood of San Francisco. Likewise, the menu items that Jim and Bones eat are real. 
> 
> The dialogue in the last scene of this fic comes directly from the movie, Star Trek. I had to rewatch it in order to get things like where Jim stands and what Barnett says. 
> 
> Tresa, I really hope you enjoy this after everything you've done for me and the community. I hope now my reluctance to share my fic during Word Wars makes more sense!
> 
> I don't own Star Trek, or Kirk and McCoy; I'm just borrowing them for a bit of fun.
> 
> Beta'ed by maypirate, who has my eternal gratitude.
> 
> Title taken from the song by [Belle and Sebastian](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=de8OlR7G1xU). The song that plays in the car is [The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9jmusgMgro) by Roberta Flack.

The thing about the events with Nero was that they not only were disastrous for the Federation as a whole, because with Vulcan just wiped off the map there wasn’t much more that could be said about it, but that it was disastrous for the cadets at Starfleet Academy.

Between all the funerals of the other cadets who didn’t make it, the funerals of the teachers who went with them on the rescue mission, the debriefings, the meetings, the press, the interviews, the photo ops, and the vigils, the semester was completely undone. Instead of finals, everyone just got what grades they had before they rolled out to rescue Vulcan. 

And if Jim was being honest, not having to go through finals after the shit show of a week with Nero was pretty much the only blessing about that scenario. The brass was still deciding what to do with the _Enterprise_ , so Jim didn’t have a captaincy yet, although Bones kept swearing up and down he would. 

They hadn’t even ruled on what to do with Bones for smuggling him on the ship. 

It was entirely possible that the admiralty felt they had bigger issues with the destruction of Vulcan, but the longer it dragged out, the more nervous Jim became. Not for himself, he’d be fine no matter what the outcome. 

He was nervous for Bones.

All right, he was downright _sick_ for Bones. It wasn’t an exaggeration when Bones claimed that Jocelyn took the whole planet in the divorce; the way the custody was arranged over their daughter and what once had been their property, Bones had little room left to run. His whole family was gone, so that wasn’t a possibility. 

Starfleet was his only option. 

And quite frankly, Jim didn’t want to be the captain of the _Enterprise_ , or any ship, if it meant he couldn’t have Bones as his CMO. So he found he drank a lot, paced a lot, and bit his cuticles a lot which Bones never ceased to yell at him for. 

“Seriously, you’re making me seasick here,” Bones groused, breaking into Jim’s thoughts. Instead of pacing, Bones was reading a paper book from Jim’s collection. It was a short story called _Bartleby the Scrivener_ that Jim had liked a lot when he first read it. 

“I don’t understand why I’m the one so fucked up about this, while you’re so calm,” Jim said as he ignored Bones’ complaints and continued to pace. “Shouldn’t you be getting black out drunk or something?”

“I would prefer not to,” Bones deadpanned, and it caused Jim to trip over the old rug they added to the living area of their suite in their second year. He caught himself before he fell, spinning to face Bones directly. 

“I hate you sometimes,” Jim said with a glare.

“Hm,” Bones said without looking up from the book. 

“You’re an asshole.”

“Indeed,” Bones answered, again without looking up.

Jim sighed. “I win all arguments with everyone else but with you…I gain no ground, and I lose all footing. How is that possible?”

“There is something to be said about my extra six years of life experience,” Bones said as he turned the page. “This is a really interesting take on clinical depression. I wonder why I never read it before now.”

Feeling oddly angry that Bones was basically ignoring him, Jim stomped over and ripped the book out of his hands. 

“Hey!”

“Why are you not freaking out?” Jim screamed. “You’ve done nothing but read my books, cook and eat delicious things…”

“Oh so you had noticed they were delicious, I couldn’t tell with the way you just swallow everything whole without tasting it,” Bones interjected.

Jim continued, undeterred. “Drink a bourbon before bed, sometimes stare at me, and call your daughter every night _like nothing is wrong_.”

Bones sighed. “Technically, nothing _is_ wrong until the brass tells us it is. I don’t see the point in getting more stressed out than I naturally am until I have a reason. That’s all.”

Jim blinked and then threw the book back at Bones, who promptly began searching for his lost page. “I hate it when you’re right.”

Just then, a comm beeped. Jim tripped a second time as he began to run towards it, his arms flailing in what could only be described as a Muppet-like manner. He skidded in just his socks as he reached the counter, grabbing it triumphantly. He vaguely recognized that it was Bones’ instead of his, but he opened the message anyway.

“If it’s from Jocelyn, again I would prefer not to,” Bones answered without looking up.

Jim’s eyes widened a little. “It’s from Komack, actually.”

Finally, something was enough to take Bones’ attention away from the book. “Oh?” He set the book down on the table, placing a slip in it to mark his place. Bones then walked up to Jim and placed a hand on his shoulder. “What’s it say?”

Jim sighed for a second, having already read the messages contents. He then cleared his throat. “ _The admiralty is in the process of reviewing the events of Stardate 2258.42, in which Cadet Leonard H. McCoy brought cadet James T. Kirk on board the _USS Enterprise_ under false pretenses. The decision will be made within the next week, with Cadet McCoy being ordered to report to the board at 1000 on Stardate 2258.63 to hear the board’s ruling_.” Jim looked down at the communicator in his hands. “So that’s it then.”

Bones ran a hand through his hair. “There’s no point in worrying until Tuesday.”

“And it’s Thursday,” Jim added. “They can’t kick you out. You doing what you did is how I got on board. My orders saved everyone.” Something was turning in his stomach at the thought of continuing in Starfleet without Bones. “They can’t kick you out,” Jim repeated.

“They probably won’t,” Bones said. “They kind of need everyone they’ve got, and as you said, my smuggling you on the ship saved Earth. I’ll get disciplined, maybe won’t be allowed to serve on the same ship as you, but I won’t get kicked out.”

Not being able to serve on the same ship was just as bad, Jim wanted to argue, but he didn’t. “I can’t do this for another five days, I’ll end up lighting something on fire.”

Bones gave Jim a long, considering look. “You’re really scared for me.”

“Duh,” Jim snapped.

“I’ve never seen you like this,” Bones continued. “All right, obviously I need to do something to take your mind off it.” He placed his hands on Jim’s shoulders, forcing him to look him in the eye. “We didn’t get our Spring Break this time. Let’s go for it.”

“Wait just, like, take off? What if they come back sooner?”

“Then they’ll comm me and tell me,” Bones argued. Something lit up in his hazel-green eyes. “Get packed. Pack enough shit to last until Monday, your swimsuit, and pack something nice to wear to dinner. I’ve got an idea.”

Jim looked at Bones in disbelief. “Your entire fate is up in the air, and you really think now is the time to go on vacation?”

“It’s exactly the time to go on vacation. Besides, I’ve been meaning to go to this place again since I got out here and just haven’t. It’s not a terribly long drive. Just…trust me.” Bones ran towards his bedroom, obviously dead set on doing…whatever it was.

Jim’s face softened. “I always trust you.”

This made Bones stop in his doorway. He turned, and there was the ghost of a smile on his face. “Then get packed. You’ve got half an hour.”

With that, he disappeared into his room, leaving a befuddled Jim in his wake. Bones did have a point, though. Jim needed his mind to be taken off things pretty desperately, and maybe getting away for a few days was the answer. Jim wandered into his own room and began to throw clothes into a duffel bag. He had just done his laundry, so that turned out to be pretty lucky. He still felt off balance, but he now felt a bit brighter. 

Funny how someone as generally grumpy as Bones could have that affect on him.

Jim gathered up socks and several pairs of his briefs before putting them in the bottom of the duffel. He also packed his black suit with a couple of different shirts just in case they went out more than once. Jim thought about bugging Bones to get more info about where they were headed, but he decided against it last second. He packed some gear to go running in, though, just in case. 

Just as the half an hour was up, Bones knocked on Jim’s open door with his matching Stafleet issued duffel in his hand. He had changed his clothes; he was in a green deep v-neck shirt and a pair of worn in jeans. He also had a pair of aviator sunglasses on his face. “Ready?”

Jim grabbed his own sunglasses and a baseball cap. “Yeah, sure.” 

With that, and another one of those smiles that Jim wished he could make happen more often, Bones gestured for Jim to head out. He did, and they walked out of their standard issue Starfleet apartment to Bones’ car.

\-----

They had been driving for two and a half hours when Jim finally asked.

“Where are we going? Not all the way to Los Angeles, I hope. I know you hate them, but a shuttle would have been way better for that.”

“We’re almost there according to the GPS,” Bones answered as he began to exit off the main highway onto back roads. They were pretty close to the coastline now, Jim noticed. Bones drove a little further, stopping at a bridge. Bixby Creek Bridge, the sign proclaimed. 

Bones stopped the car and gestured for Jim to step out of it as he opened his door. Jim lowered his sunglasses and stared at the sight before him.

It was like the mountains were coming right out of the sea. The view was incredible; they got there right at the beginnings of sundown, and the sky was painted different shades of reds, golds, and purples. He could smell the salt on the air, but he was looking right at mountains. 

Jim had never seen anything more beautiful in his life.

“Welcome to Big Sur,” Bones said after a few minutes had passed. 

Jim continued to take in the sights before him. “It’s beautiful. It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen.”

“I came here once with…well, that’s not important,” Bones digressed, and Jim knew he meant he came here with his ex-wife. “We flew into SFO and drove down, like you and I just did. I’ve always wanted to come back, and now…here I am.”

Watching the sun dip further down into the horizon, Jim nodded. They continued to watch the sunset until there was nothing left but a bit of red and violet in the sky. Jim turned to Bones, already feeling less anxious than he was before. 

“This was really nice,” Jim said after a long and comfortable silence. “Thanks.”

Bones looked at him with a genuine smile. “Don’t thank me yet. C’mon, we need to get checked in.”

With that, they got back in the car and began to drive down the road towards a lodge. Lucia Lodge, the sign proclaimed, and it sat high in the cliffs overlooking the surf. The sign also stated that it had a restaurant, a gift shop, and a lounge. Jim looked curiously at the lodge; it seemed homey and rustic, but not terribly old-fashioned. He approved.

Bones parked the car and together they went inside to the store. A Hispanic woman stood behind the counter, and she smiled at them.

“Checking in?” she asked.

“If you’ve got a vacancy,” Bones replied. The woman typed a few things on her computer and nodded.

“We do have one vacancy,” she said. “It’s Cottage Number Ten, the Honeymoon cottage overlooking the ocean.”

“That’s fine,” Jim answered before Bones could say anything. “Great, even.” Bones gave Jim a curious look before turning his attention back to the clerk.

“How long will you be staying with us?” she asked as Bones opened his wallet. 

“Four nights, we’ll be checking out on Monday,” Bones said. 

Doing something on the computer, she nodded.. Her smile turned a bit knowing as she ran Bones’ credit card. The charges were approved and she handed it back to him. After another second, she handed them an envelope holding two key cards. 

“Cabin Ten is the one closest to the edge of the cliff at the end,” she explained. 

Jim nodded his thanks at her as he pocketed one of the room keys, before handing the second one in the envelope to Bones. “Thanks for your help,” he said to the clerk. “Have a great night!”

With a wave, she said, “Enjoy your stay!” With that, Jim and Bones left the store and began to walk towards their cabin. 

“You realize there’s only one bed in a cabin called the Honeymoon Cottage,” Bones pointed out when they were about halfway there.

For some reason, that made Jim’s cheeks flush. “No big deal, we’ll trade off sleeping in the bed with sleeping on the couch. Four nights means we each get two nights in the bed.”

Bones was silent as he carried his bag. Before long, they were at their cottage. It was easy to spot; it was the only one that didn’t have any lights on inside. Bones ran his card through the reader and the door unlatched. He turned the knob and stepped inside, Jim quickly following. Bones called out for the lights, and they immediately came up.

The room was tastefully decorated with a large cherry wood four-poster bed against one wall. A chocolate leather sofa was against a different wall directly facing the front door of the cabin. There was also a wooden coffee table and rocking chair facing the sofa. A door to their private deck stood directly across from the front door. The bathroom was directly to Jim’s left, and in it was a stall shower, toilet, and vanity. There was an armoire where they could put their clothes. 

Jim looked around the room again. There was no television or computer. That was odd. Every hotel he’d ever stayed in had a computer.

Bones didn’t look like he noticed as he opened a drawer on the armoire and began to put away his clothing for the weekend. Jim randomly took out his communicator and flicked it open.

He had no signal.

Jim held it up and away from him. He still had no signal.

“Are we that remote?” he asked.

“Probably signal blockers,” Bones said. “This _is_ a relaxation retreat.”

Jim, who was now holding his communicator as far as was physically possible, blinked. “But how will we know if the brass calls you in early?”

Bones stopped unpacking to stare at him. “Since when does the Admiralty do anything in a timely manner?”

Jim would have argued, but really he couldn’t. It was true.

Bones stood and walked over to face Jim. He gently grabbed his hand and pushed it down so that his arm was resting next to his body. Jim stared at him.

“Relax,” Bones said. Jim opened his mouth to protest. “ _Relax_ ,” Bones repeated with emphasis and a note of threat in his voice. Jim pouted, but he did put the communicator on the coffee table. He opened the top of the armoire, and there were cedar hangers inside. Jim hung up the dress shirts he packed at Bones’ earlier instructions, smoothing the wrinkles out of the fabric. Bones following suit with a shiny green dress shirt of his own.

“The restaurant should still be serving,” Bones said. “This place seems to do home-cooking type food. Want to wash up and get something to eat?”

Before Jim could answer verbally, his stomach loudly growled. Bones snorted.

“Yes,” Jim said with a grimace. “I would like to eat.”

Bones began to chuckle, and Jim gave him the finger. Without asking, he scampered to the bathroom to use it first. Bones gave him the finger behind his back.

“Just for that, I’m taking the bed tonight,” Bones called after him.

Jim poked his head from around the bedroom door and gave another one-fingered salute to his friend. Then he turned and closed the door behind him. The soap was scented with lavender and a bit of musk, and Jim thoroughly washed his hands.

Relaxation.

Jim looked at himself in the mirror. He still didn’t understand why he was freaking out so much, and why Bones was so calm, but he had promised to get his mind off their troubles. He owed it to Bones, who was paying for this trip. 

Shit, he needed to give him half the hotel fees and not take no for an answer at least.

His stomach gurgled a second time as he rinsed off his hands. Real water and not sonics like in their dorm suite, it was really nice and comforting. The room overall was really nice. He couldn’t wait to sit out on the deck, maybe with some beer, and just watch the waves. 

The ocean was still something novel to him after spending most of his life in land-locked Iowa. He had been to the beach a few times since he moved to San Francisco, but that beach didn’t have the Lucia mountains attached. 

And Bones had a point about needing to get away. 

So he would enjoy himself, even if it meant fighting himself every step of the way.

Jim turned the water off, ran his wet hands through his hair to style it back into place, and then opened the door. 

From then on, his mind was going to be on nothing but the scenery and Bones.

\-----

Dinner was uneventful, and Jim really enjoyed his chicken cordon bleu. Bones had gotten seafood tortellini, and they had split a bottle of chardonnay. They went back to their cabin and watched the waves in the darkness for a bit. Jim thought he saw a whale, but it was hard to be sure. Then they decided to go to bed early.

Jim had slept fitfully on the couch. Bones had been gracious enough to give him a pillow and a quilt, but now he was awake. It was just pre-dawn, and try as he might he couldn’t go back to sleep. 

His worries were obviously still getting the best of him, he figured. It was the only explanation. 

Jim continued to stare up at the ceiling with a frown on his face. He’d get worry lines at the rate he was going. Maybe he needed to do something. 

Going for a run wasn’t a bad idea. He could see the sun rise as he did it and run along the cliffs. 

Quietly so as to not disturb Bones, Jim pulled on his old high school sweatshirt and a pair of shorts. He grabbed some socks and his running shoes, pulling the socks on and then sliding his feet into the shoes without untying them. He began to head out the door when he paused.

He should probably tell Bones so he didn’t wake up and wonder where he went. 

Jim walked less quietly over to the bed, where Bones lay on his back with one arm slung across the mattress. His hair was in some pretty amazing disarray for once, and Jim couldn’t help but think he looked cute.

“Bones,” Jim said. He reached out and gently shook on Bones’ outstretched arm. “Hey Bones.”

“’S too hot for sexin’,” Bones grumbled. “Go ‘way, Jim.”

The what with the who now was too hot for _what_?

Jim blinked down at Bones. He hadn’t heard him right. He couldn’t have possibly heard him right. He shook his arm again. “Bones.”

That time it seemed to work, because one of Bones’ greenish eyes opened. “Whaddayawant Jim?” He did not mention sex. Or anything, really. He did stare accusatorily, though, so you know. Things were normal.

“I’m going out for a run,” Jim said after a moment. “Do you want to join me? The sun’s about to come up.”

Both of Bones’ eyes opened and he sat up, forcing Jim to let go of his arm somewhat reluctantly. He sleepily rubbed his hand across his eyes. “Actually, yeah. That sounds nice.” He swung his legs over the side of the bed and proceeded to rub his face a second time. “Just give me a minute.”

“I’ll wait outside,” Jim said, suddenly feeling the need to get some distance. Which was dumb since he just invited Bones to go along with him. Regardless, Jim opened the door and stepped outside.

As he waited for Bones, he kept thinking about what he said the first time he tried to wake him. Bones told him they couldn’t have sex. So that meant that Bones had been dreaming about them having sex.

Holy shit! _Bones dreamed about he and Jim having sex!_

Jim leaned against the wall with a somewhat frightened expression. He didn’t know what to think. He needed to process this. He needed time for quiet contemplation. 

Just then, because of fucking course, Bones opened the door and stepped out in his favorite Ole Miss t-shirt and track pants. 

“Ready?”

Jim wanted to scream _no_ at the top of his lungs. Instead he garbled out something that may have been an assent or a curse upon Bones’ loved ones. Or maybe he spoke in German. 

Whatever it was he said, it caused Bones to give him the most confused look he had ever received, which was saying a lot. “Oh…kay,” Bones said. He then sighed. “You get me up and then you act like an incoherent toddler after a nap. Jesus, Jim.”

Jim peered at Bones with what he hoped was scrutiny and not just boggling in confusion. Bones clearly didn’t recall what he said, as he was acting normal. At least, Jim assumed that was why Bones was acting normal. 

No, this was Bones. If Bones had known the sex bomb dropped, he’d be acting weird. Probably he’d get snarly and gross like he always got when he was nervous. Bones was really calm, so he clearly didn’t recall saying it.

Jim tried to smile. “Sorry. Guess I’m still half asleep. Yeah, I’m ready.”

Very well then; Bones didn’t remember.

As they started their warm up stretching, Jim realized he could work with that. If Bones had forgotten it that quickly, he could forget it too. It wasn’t a big deal; lots of people dreamed about having sex with him, so why shouldn’t Bones? He was hot as hell, everyone knew that. 

It was actually kind of flattering. 

So that was how it was going to be. Jim was going to forget it. It wasn’t some big revelation or Earth-shattering event. It was just Bones and a fantasy. They started to run, and Jim smiled for real.

Yeah, he’d just forget it ever happened. What could go wrong?

\-----

Except forgetting it proved to be impossible.

In fact, Jim was doing the opposite of forgetting about it. He was fixated on it. It was consuming him, down to the very depths of his soul.

Bones fantasized about them having sex.

This should not have been a big deal. 

This should have been nothing. 

Jim should have written this off, and paid attention to that beautiful sunrise, or the pod of whales that came swimming by their lunch at the lodge’s restaurant deck, or when they were just quietly reading in their cabin. Bones finished _Bartleby_ , and the entire time they discussed it, Jim could feel the forced smile on his face.

As far as Jim could tell, he was being completely subtle in his silent freak out, because Bones acted like nothing was happening. That was good. He didn’t need to know that Jim knew about the sex thing. 

If only Jim could figure out why he was so alarmed by this. It didn’t really change their dynamic, but for some reason it was sending him into a panic. He just didn’t understand what was up at all, so it was best to just keep quiet. 

“Do you want to get ready for dinner? There’s a really fantastic restaurant up the road that has an amazing view of the ocean,” Bones asked suddenly, shaking Jim out of his thoughts. 

“Uh, sure,” Jim stumbled out as he tried to smile. 

Bones stared at him for a long time before he finally sighed. “Okay. Out with it.”

The smile fell off Jim’s face. “Out with what?”

“Don’t bullshit me, you’ve been acting like Great Gramma McCoy’s cat all day.”

Jim was confused. “I don’t understand what that means.”

“Great Gramma had a lot of rocking chairs,” Bones elaborated. “You keep getting this panicked look on your face when you think I’m not looking.” He stood up and faced Jim directly. “I’m _always looking_ , Jim.”

For some reason, this pissed Jim off more than anything. “You don’t get to come at me like that.”

Now Bones looked confused. “I’m not coming at you, bro, or whatever, Jim, I’m just worried. The whole point of this trip is to take your mind off things, but instead you’re even more tense than you were yesterday. I have no idea what’s going on with you.”

“You know exactly what’s going on with me,” Jim snapped. “This is all your fault.”

“My fault?” Bones asked. “Yeah, sure making you take a relaxing vacation in the mountains. You’re right; I’m so horrible. How can you stand to even look at me? I should be killed for my transgressions.”

“Don’t give me that crap,” Jim retorted. “I didn’t even want to come, and when you drag me here, you say what you did.”

The frustration left Bones as he once again became confused. “What did I say, Jim?” He asked as he scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I really don’t understand what I did.”

“Oh of course, you don’t remember. How convenient.” Jim began to pace around the room. “Of fucking course.”

Bones sat on the arm of one of their chairs. “Can you tell me what it was so I can apologize, explain, both, or something?”

Jim stopped pacing. “Fine. _You dream about having sex with me._ ”

Finally, Bones looked shocked by something. It quickly faded into a more neutral expression. “Among other things.”

“Why?” Jim asked, and even to him it sounded whiny.

Bones didn’t answer him at first. After a long pause, he gathered his thoughts. “Because I want to be with you.”

“Yeah I got that, with the whole…you want to be with me?” The wind came out of Jim’s sails at that. “Like… _be_ with me?”

“Love, honor, and cherish, the whole nine, yeah,” Bones said. “But, that’s not what you want so I keep it to myself.” One side of his mouth quirked up in a rueful smile. “Or normally I do, anyway. What’d I say? I’m assuming it was when you were waking me up…”

“Too hot for sexin’, go ‘way Jim,” Jim said in a monotone. Bones was in love with him?

“Ah,” Bones said. “In my defense, it got really hot in here last night. I’m glad I gave you that quilt, otherwise I wouldn’t have slept at all.”

“It did,” Jim agreed. Back to what was important. “You’re in love with me. Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“Like I just said, you don’t feel the same,” Bones said with a shrug. “I haven’t been sitting around pining, or drinking listening to sad songs, or anything. It doesn’t really get me down. I just accept it, and I honestly don’t think about it much.”

Jim sat on the edge of the bed. “But you never tried or fought for me.” He felt…disappointed. He should have felt relieved, and instead he felt disappointed. Why?

“I haven’t been all that subtle, either, if you think about it,” Bones said. “I mean, I did smuggle you onto the _Enterprise_ against orders because I couldn’t stand to leave you behind.”

“…Oh,” Jim said. “Now I feel insensitive.” He did, too, like he should have seen this coming or figured it out before now. What kind of person was he that he didn’t know?

“Hey, don’t,” Bones said. “Seriously, I probably should have spelled it out in the interest of full disclosure. I didn’t, and I’m sorry for that because now you look like I pulled the rug out from under you.”

Jim didn’t say anything. Bones was in love with him, had loved him for some time, and had been keeping it quiet. “Is there anything else you’re not telling me?”

“No,” Bones answered. “That was it.”

Jim sighed. He still felt unsettled, and he felt something like…he couldn’t explain it. It didn’t feel bad exactly, but it was something he couldn’t recall ever feeling before. Most of all, he didn’t feel like running the way he usually did when someone wanted more from him than he was willing to give. Probably because this time, the someone was Bones.

He probably should apologize to Gary at some point, now that he thought about it.

“It’s okay,” Jim finally declared. “We can make this work. I won’t run away from our vacation.”

“Good, because that did concern me a little with the direction this conversation took,” Bones said with a relieved look on his face. “Are you still up for dinner?”

Jim swallowed; he actually wasn’t sure he wanted to eat, but he needed the routine. “Yeah, I could go for something,” he lied.

“Put your suit on, this place is pretty fancy,” Bones said as he made his way over to their armoire. 

Jim watched Bones pull out a black suit and the green dress shirt, and made his way to grab his own suit and tie. They got dressed in silence, although Jim felt like it was awkward. He also couldn’t help but watch Bones as discreetly as possible sometimes. 

He just didn’t know what to do. Why wasn’t it as simple as saying he was flattered but no thanks?

Best to not say anything at all then.

“Ready?” Bones pocketed his room key and turned to face him.

“Yeah,” Jim said as he walked towards the door. “Let’s go.”

Bones opened the cabin door and they stepped into the crisp night air. It was a short walk to the car, and with that they were off.

\-----

The restaurant was named Nepenthe, and it featured a stunning view of the Pacific Ocean. To call it fine dining was a world of understatement, as Jim privately balked at the prices.

They split the artisanal cheese plate with a bottle of complementing large-format beer Jim couldn’t remember the name of. It was Belgian, that was all he paid attention to. After the cheese, they continued to sit and talk quietly until their main courses arrived: the twelve-ounce Ribeye for Jim, and the glazed duck for Bones.

Once he got the food in front of him, Jim’s appetite made itself known. Something occurred to Jim halfway through demolishing his steak, and he chewed and swallowed before looking at Bones curiously.

“We’re on a date,” he proclaimed as he took a sip of the beer. Whatever it was, it was good: a nice, light ale.

Bones paused with a bite of duck halfway to his mouth. “What?”

“We’re on a dressed-up, which we never do by the way, romantic-restaurant-overlooking-the-ocean, sharing-appetizers, making-small-talk kind of date.” Jim looked moderately pleased at his cleverness.

Bones put his fork down. “I didn’t ask you out as my date, I asked you if you wanted to eat.”

“To this place, which is way above our normal dives and mess hall meals,” Jim countered. “We’re in suits. The conversation is good, but a little awkward. It’s a date.”

“The conversation is awkward because of…you know,” Bones said. “Not because we’re on a date.”

Jim looked at Bones with an incredulous expression. “Dude, we are totally on a date. Everything about this screams date.”

There was a long silence.

“If we are on a date,” Bones began, “and note I did not agree that we are, I said _if_ , you seem oddly okay with that fact considering how upset you were when I told you how I feel.”

There was another long silence as Jim thought about what he was saying. Jim was way too calm about it, now that he mentioned it. He should be yelling at Bones or throwing the bread at him.

Well, no, he wouldn’t do that to the bread. It was _really good_.

But yeah, he was perfectly fine with them being on a date. He was way too fine with it. What did that mean?

“It’s cool,” Jim finally said. “I mean, it’s you actually making effort instead of just deciding that I’m not into you. Why shouldn’t we go on a date to feel things out?”

Bones took a long sip of his beer. “So you’d actually be okay with me trying to court you.” It wasn’t a question.

Jim blinked. “First of all, _court me_? What decade is this? And second of all, yeah why not? We’re here together for the next few days. What’s to lose?”

“Only something as inconsequential as what we already have, which is why I never said anything,” Bones replied.

That made Jim think really hard. What if he decided he didn’t like being courted by Bones, and he didn’t want to be in a relationship? That would hurt Bones pretty deeply, wouldn’t it? Would they survive it?

They survived Nero. They survived every other fight they’d ever had.

“We’ll be okay,” Jim finally said. “We’re us. We’re always okay.”

Bones didn’t smile, but his eyes softened. “Okay.” He took his almost forgotten bite of duck. “Starting now, you’re being courted. I hope you know what you’re getting into.”

“I can’t believe you’re calling it that,” Jim said. “It’s the twenty-third century. Who says that?”

“Gentlemen, a group of people with which you are no doubt unfamiliar,” Bones said, and the banter came easily.

Jim took a big bite of his steak. After swallowing it, he pointed at Bones. “Aren’t you supposed to flatter me and tell me how good I look instead of insulting me?”

“That’s not how I do things,” Bones countered as he signaled their server over, probably for more beer. “You’ll see.”

Jim raised an eyebrow, but didn’t question it. They went back to eating and talking, and while it still felt a little awkward it felt…better somehow. Like things were right, which Jim couldn’t figure out why that would be. 

Instead of ordering more beer, Bones pulled the server aside and had a conversation; Jim tried to eavesdrop but was too far away to do so. He just watched and tried to read Bones’ body language. When Bones turned back around, Jim quickly went back to focusing on his plate. 

“You’re not fooling anyone,” Bones said with a smirk as he took his seat across from Jim.

Jim frowned. “Secrets weren’t part of this arrangement. They also don’t make friends.”

“It’s not a secret, you’ll see when we’re done with dinner,” Bones said. He took a bite of his duck. “Would you like to try some of my food?”

Jim began to cover his steak protectively. “You don’t want mine, do you? Because that is definitely off the table.”

“I know what a Ribeye tastes like,” Bones said with a roll of his eyes. “You looked confused by me ordering this, which I’m assuming means you haven’t eaten it before.”

“Oh,” Jim said as he calmed down. “Sure.”

Bones cut a piece of the duck and placed it on his fork. Instead of passing the fork to Jim, he held it across the table. Jim blinked for a second before catching the hint. He leaned forward and gently took the morsel off the fork with his mouth. Bones looked pleased and there was a look in his eyes Jim thought he had seen occasionally but never asked about before. 

Jim chewed the meat; it was moist, with a rich flavor that burst on his tongue. Bones continued to look at him as he swallowed, and Jim found that the air became a little tense between them. 

A sexy tense, though, not an angry or awkward one.

“That was really good,” Jim conceded after taking a sip of his beer. “I don’t know that I’d want it all of the time, but I could see ordering it in the future.”

“That’s high praise coming from you, oh King of the Picky Eaters,” Bones said with a smile. There was no edge to the words, though; they were gentle unlike Bones’ usual taunts.

“With all my allergies you’d rather I not be picky? I did find out about the peanuts the hard way, remember.” Jim went back to the steak with aplomb. The duck was good, but steak was better. 

They finished their entrees, and their server came to them to clear their plates. Bones ordered them both after dinner scotches (Laphroaig 10, Jim noted, which sounded fancy), and a slice of the deep dish Dutch apple pie with vanilla ice cream for them to share.

“Apple pie,” Jim said. “That’s pretty smooth, ordering my favorite dessert instead of getting something fancier, Doctor Duck and Cheese Plate.”

Bones shrugged and took a sip of his scotch. “They do say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

“True,” Jim said. The scotch made him feel warm all over, or maybe that was the looks Bones kept giving him. Which would be weird, right? 

Wouldn’t it?

Jim once again became confused. How had he gone from panicking to all right with everything they were doing in less than a day? It didn’t really make a lot of sense. There had to be a reason for it, he just couldn’t see what it was.

They finished their dessert, which was absolutely amazing, and Bones paid the check. They began to leave the restaurant, when Jim realized they were driving in the opposite direction from their lodge.

“If I wake up tomorrow in a bathtub full of ice with a note that says _get to a hospital_ and a huge incision on my abdomen, I’m going to be pissed as hell at you,” Jim joked as they continued driving down Route One.

“Yes, because I am in the habit of stealing people’s kidneys and selling them on the black market. Not to mention that actually being real instead of just a made up story to scare people out of one night stands.” 

Jim snorted. “In all seriousness, where are we going?”

“You’ll see,” Bones said as he continued to drive. He took a side road, and they came closer to the coastline. Jim looked out the window, although it was dark and difficult to see. Before long, Bones was parking the car in a lot by a long wooden staircase. 

Bones turned off the car and stepped out of it; before Jim could open the door, Bones opened it for him. Jim blinked up at him for a second before stepping out of the passenger seat. 

“Opening doors for me, ordering my favorite dessert,” he said. “Taking me someplace only you know about...”

“The waitress told me about it. Come on,” Bones said and he held out his hand. After a brief hesitation, Jim took it and they walked hand-in-hand down the steps to a private little beach area. The moon was full and high, reflected in the dark water in front of them. The waves were calm and lapping at the shore. 

It was magical.

They walked close to the waves, and Bones let go of Jim’s hand to take off his shoes and socks and roll up his trousers. Jim followed suit, and they walked into the water. Bones took his hand a second time as they took a long, leisurely stroll down the beach. 

“It’s so amazing here,” Jim breathed after a while. “Everything about this place is perfect. I wish we had more time.” It took the words leaving his mouth for him to realize they were true, and not just because of the scenery. Bones was a big part of why he felt so good suddenly. 

Did that mean…?

“We can always come back,” Bones said, interrupting Jim’s thoughts. “Big Sur isn’t going anywhere.”

Jim nodded. “Let’s make a deal that whenever we have leave on Earth, we come here together.”

Bones stopped for a second, inadvertently tugging Jim back into him. Jim stumbled before managing to regain his balance.

“You’d want that?” Bones asked softly. 

Jim looked down at their hands. “Yeah. I’m pretty sure…yeah.” He looked up at the sky, which was littered with sparkling stars. “I mean…I don’t…I don’t know that I mean romantically. But I like being here with you. I feel…” He trailed off and looked out over the ocean. “I don’t know. I’m not worried for the first time since the Nero thing. I’m actually really happy. I can’t make you any promises yet, but I’m smart enough to know it’s not a coincidence.”

He was afraid he’d be disappointed; instead, Bones’ face was filled with joy, and that made something in Jim that was either long-forgotten or never-noticed lift him up so much he felt like he could fly. Bones tugged on his hand again, deliberately that time, and Jim let himself be pulled in close.

Bones took his free hand and stroked Jim’s face once. Before Jim could ask what he was doing, he leaned in and kissed him. It was different from every other kiss Jim had ever had; it was slow and careful, like Bones could do nothing else for the rest of his life but kiss him. Jim couldn’t help but sink into it, opening his mouth to invite Bones to deepen it. 

Fortunately, Bones was an intelligent man, and he did as he was told. He gently slid his tongue into Jim’s mouth, taking his time in tasting him. Bones himself tasted like scotch and apple pie, not unpleasantly so, and Jim made a small mewling noise. He also quickly lost track of time; the kiss felt like it lasted forever in the best possible way, and yet when it ended it also felt too soon. 

Taking a step back from him, Bones licked his lips and smiled. 

“Hhhnngnggh,” Jim said eloquently.

“Want to keep going, or do you want to head back to the lodge?” Bones asked. Even in the darkness, his eyes were twinkling. 

Jim shook his head to clear it. That was seriously some kiss, and right then all he could think was he wanted to be close to Bones. “Mmm…let’s stay here a little longer, then head back.”

“All right,” Bones said as they continued to walk down the shore. A little longer turned into another hour, and then they headed back to their shoes and the car. They shook the sand out of their socks before putting them and their shoes back on, and then they were on their way.

The ride back passed in near silence, except for some soft old music playing on the satellite radio. Roberta Flack, Jim recognized belatedly. His mother had loved this song growing up; it was his parents’ song at their wedding, and Winona always stopped what she was doing to sing along when it would play.

He began to hum along with it as they pulled up to the Lucia Lodge. Bones turned off the engine and once again opened the door for Jim. This time, Jim took his hand as he left the car, and they walked together to their cabin. 

Bones deftly slid his keycard out of his pocket and opened the door. He let go of Jim’s hand. “After you,” he said with a gesture. 

Jim, however, had a different idea. He grabbed Bones’ face between his hands and backed him into the door. Suddenly a little nervous, Jim kissed Bones as thoroughly as he could muster. Bones made a little noise of surprise, but he didn’t fight him off as he stumbled backwards through the doorway into their cabin, the door slamming shut in their wake. Jim followed and began walking him toward the bed. 

It was crazy; he had no explanation for why he suddenly needed to be with Bones, but it had been overwhelming him since their kiss at the beach. He let go of Bones to strip out of his suit jacket, dropping it onto the floor. Then Jim pushed his hands forward and Bones fell on the bed. 

Jim also climbed onto the bed and leaned down to kiss Bones a second time. He slid his hands under Bones’ jacket and pulled it down off his shoulders. He then began to unbutton Bones’ shirt. 

Bones’ hands suddenly reached up and caught Jim’s; he also broke the kiss.

“What’s wrong?” Jim asked, concerned. 

“Why are you doing this?” Bones replied. “If it’s because I took you on a date, I’m not expecting you to put out.”

Jim leaned back on his heels, and absently wiped his mouth with the back of a hand. “I…I don’t know, actually.” 

Bones raised both eyebrows. “You don’t know?”

“I…” Jim suddenly felt like a child playing grown up. “I don’t know, our kiss at the beach was…I don’t have a word for it other than _electric_. I just…I feel like we should do this. I don’t know why I feel that way, but it feels…I’m not making a compelling argument, am I?”

Bones looked less confused, but it took him a long time to answer. “I don’t want this....”

“But…” Jim began to argue.

“ _Unless you’re sure of how you feel_ ,” Bones finished, speaking over him. “We sleep together, and there’s no going back. Besides, I don’t have sex on the first date, not with you or anyone.”

Jim was at a loss for words. “I don’t…I mean, I’m sure about wanting to sleep with you.”

“But you don’t know that you love me back,” Bones said. 

Again, Jim fell silent. “I think I feel something. I’m enjoying this too much to be indifferent or think of you as just a friend.” Beginning to play with the cuff of his shirt, he looked down at his wrist. “But you’re right, I can’t tell you that I love you.”

Bones nodded; he didn’t look disappointed at all, he just look like he saw that coming. “Come on, then, let’s change for bed.” He swung his legs over the side and began to unbutton his shirt.

Jim stayed kneeling on the bed and watched him for a minute. For some reason, even though it was plainly a _not yet_ instead of a _no_ , Jim felt like he had been rejected. He knew he shouldn’t feel that way, as Bones was obviously keeping to being a gentleman. 

But still, he felt kind of upset and a little lonely.

Bones was already in his pajamas when he turned to face Jim again. “It’s your night for the bed.”

Jim wrapped his arms around his chest. “We…we can share it.” Bones opened his mouth to argue. “Not because of sex. I mean, it’s silly for one of us to sleep on the couch. This is a queen, it’s plenty big enough for both of us.”

Jim got up and walked over the armoire to put on his ratty old Hawkeyes shirt and shorts. He didn’t say out loud that he didn’t want to sleep alone. Neatly hanging up his dress clothes, he turned to face Bones. 

The same Bones who was still considering what he said.

“Okay,” Bones finally agreed. “Which side do you prefer to sleep on?”

“The left,” Jim said as he walked over to that side of the bed. 

“Works out pretty well, then, because I sleep on the right,” Bones replied. Bones changed quickly; after he began to pull down the covers, and Jim did the same. They climbed in together and got under the sheets; Bones lay on his back with his arms folded up under his head, while Jim lay on his side facing Bones in the darkness.

Bones eventually turned to face him. “What’s up?”

Jim didn’t answer him verbally; instead he slid closer to Bones. He moved down so he could tuck his head under his chin, and he felt Bones wrap his arms around him. In turn, he wrapped his own arms around Bones and closed his eyes. 

It didn’t take long before he drifted off to sleep.

\-----

The next morning, Jim woke in Bones’ arms. While he normally rolled all over the place, he had been peaceful throughout the night. His dreams had all been pleasant, too.

Most of them involved Bones.

Jim blinked sleepy eyes open and was greeted by the sight of Bones’ throat. He smiled, stretching as much as he could without letting go of Bones. Then he nuzzled in closer, causing Bones to stir.

“Jim?”

“It’s okay,” Jim said in whisper. “You can go back to sleep.”

Bones yawned and squeezed his arms around Jim’s waist. “I’m up now.”

“Then we’ll just lay here,” Jim said. He closed his eyes and inhaled Bones’ scent. He smelled a bit like sandalwood, fresh grass, and something else that must have been just Bones. It was a good scent, and Jim inhaled it a second time. 

Jim felt a kiss get pressed into his hair, and he smiled. They did lie together for at least another forty-five minutes before Bones made a noise and suddenly pulled his arms back from Jim’s waist.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” Bones said, and Jim opened his eyes. 

“Oh,” Jim said, and he let Bones go. “Here.”

“Thanks,” Bones said as he stood from the bed. “I’ll be right back.” He walked to their bathroom, and Jim sat up on the bed. It had only been a second, but it felt weird to be in the bed without Bones. 

Weird and a little cold.

The toilet flushed, and Bones came back. He sat on the bed next to Jim. 

“What do you want to do today?” 

Jim shrugged. “I think hiking sounds nice. There are lots of trails we haven’t explored.”

Bones nodded. “That’s what I was thinking. We can grab breakfast and then head out.”

“Sounds good,” Jim said. “Can I have the first shower?”

“Sure,” Bones replied. “Take your time.” 

Jim felt like kissing Bones again, so he did. It was quicker and more chaste than the others, but it was still a kiss. He almost spoke, but he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say, so he elected instead to just go to the bathroom.

He turned on the shower, setting it at warm, and stepped under the spray. He pressed his hands up against the shower wall and bowed his head, letting the water roll down his back. 

Squeezing his eyes closed, Jim thought long and hard. 

Everything was so confusing. 

There was only one reason why he was as okay with being with Bones as he was, but…there was no way that he had been in love with Bones all along. 

Then again, he did get awfully worried about him. He was practically throwing up over the situation with Bones’ potential disciplinary hearing. It was disproportionate to how he normally reacted to people maybe getting in trouble. Hell, he never got like that over Gary, and Gary did way worse shit.

The Champagne Fountain Incident of 2256 would forever haunt Jim.

The most important thing, however, was how Jim felt. He felt honest-to-God happy. He hadn’t felt this kind of lightness in…ever. 

But it was so soon and sudden…could he really trust it? How could he be sure it was really love?

Jim just had no way to know. He just didn’t. So, it was best he not say anything to Bones in order to make sure he didn’t get his feelings hurt. 

With that, Jim began to wash up. Having been in a hurry to pack, he hadn’t brought his shampoo so he used Bones’. It smelled just like the doctor, and Jim lathered and rinsed his hair twice with it. 

Now he smelled like Bones, and the thought of that made him somewhat dizzy. Warmth began to spread throughout his body, particularly in his stomach and groin. Jim calculated how long he had been in the shower and decided he had time for a little indulgence. 

Jim began to replay the events of the night before; this time, Bones didn’t stop him. In his fantasy, he unbuttoned the shirt and began to caress Bones’ well-muscled chest. In reality, he grabbed the base of his cock with his left hand and gave it a squeeze. It began to fill and harden, and Jim groaned as quietly as he could.

Fantasy Bones began to suck and bite at Fantasy Jim’s throat, as hard as Jim liked it. Fantasy Bones flipped them so he was lying on top of Jim. He tore the shirt open, and the buttons went flying all over the room.

 _Oops_ , Bones said, and his accent was thicker than usual. _Guess I’ll have to buy you another one_.

Fantasy Bones began to lick and suck his way down Jim’s chest, as Jim grasped and began to slowly stroke his shaft. Bones put his knee in between Jim’s legs, grinding it hard against Jim’s cock.

 _Gonna make you come like this,_ Bones whispered, _clean you up after, and fuck you until you wail._

“Oh God,” Jim groaned in the shower. He thumbed his slit once, twice, before gripping himself harder, stroking faster. He was already so close, it was crazy. Just a little more…

Fantasy Bones growled into Fantasy Jim’s skin and cupped his cock through his pants. He squeezed it almost hard enough to qualify as a dirty self defense move, and in the shower, Jim came suddenly, spurting onto the shower wall.

“Holy shit,” Jim breathed as his knees shook. “Holy shit,” he said a second time as the stars cleared from his vision. He leaned against the back wall of the shower stall to catch his breath.

That had to be some kind of a record. Jim was no stranger to jerking off, but he’d seldom come so fast or so hard from it. He looked at the wall by the shower control. 

_Shit_.

Filling his hands with water, Jim frantically wiped away the traces of what he’d done. It was kind of silly, Bones knew Jim jerked off, just like Jim knew Bones did. They had rules about where they could do it in their suite because of that time he walked in on Bones in the living area after his class ended early. 

Still though, for some reason Jim felt like he should keep this to himself. He didn’t really want to push the sex issue; Bones clearly had guidelines for how that was going to go, and he didn’t want to seem like he was pressuring him or anything. 

Still though, if a fantasy was that good…Jim couldn’t wait for the real thing.

After double and triple checking that all the come was washed clean, Jim did a quick final rinse and turned off the shower. He toweled off quickly, looping one around his waist while scrubbing his hair with another. Jim then walked out of the bathroom.

“I was beginning to think you were drowning yourself,” Bones joked as he looked up from another book from Jim’s collection. This was a collection of works by T.S. Eliot, _The Waste Land and Other Poems_.

“No, it just takes time to look this good,” Jim shot back as he continued to scrub at his hair. “Besides, you know I don’t take super hot showers; there’s plenty of water left in the tank for you.”

“There better be,” Bones said as he placed a marker in the book. He stood from the couch and stretched. Jim tried not to notice the way his shirt rode up to expose his stomach. 

Okay, he totally noticed it. He mostly focused on not staring.

Bones came over to Jim and kissed him lightly on the mouth. “I’ll be done in a minute,” he said as he continued into the bathroom. Jim watched him go with a little smile.

As soon as the door closed, Jim sighed a little. He went over to the armoire and began to quickly get dressed. 

He also kept smiling.

\-----

After hiking to the monastery at Hermitage, listening to the eleven-thirty mass, (which wasn’t normally Jim’s thing, but they got there just as it was starting and it seemed rude to not sit in) and hiking back to Lucia, Jim had decided something.

Jim was still too unsure of his feelings to say that he loved Bones. Winona had always told him that he’d know when he was in love, and he still had doubts. 

But if things kept going the way they were…it wasn’t going to be much longer. 

They were now sitting on Lucia’s restaurant deck, and a pod of what appeared to be dolphins swam by in the distance. 

Bones pulled his sunglasses from over his eyes to the top of his head and looked out at the view. “You were right last night.”

Jim choked on his beer. Bones was caving on the sex thing already? Awesome!

“We should come here every time we’re on Earth,” Bones continued, and Jim stopped coughing. 

Oh.

“Oh,” Jim said out loud. 

Bones looked at him oddly. “What did you think I meant?”

“It’s not important.” Jim smiled. “I’m glad you want to do that. I like the idea of us starting a new tradition like this. Only next time, I’m paying for everything.”

“We’ll see about that,” Bones said with a smirk as he took a bite of his fish and chips.

Jim rolled his eyes. “You’re such an old-fashioned _ass_ , shoehorning me into a traditional, and misogynistic, might I add, gender role after two days. I’d like to pay sometimes, I don’t see why that’s a problem.”

“It’s not really a problem,” Bones said. “I’m just not used to it. I have to warm up to the idea.”

“You don’t have to warm up to shit,” Jim tossed back. “I’m paying for dinner tonight, deal with it. And I’m giving you half the hotel fee.”

“You are not,” Bones countered.

“I am too,” Jim said. He picked up one of his fries and flung it at Bones. It caught him square on the cheek.

Bones narrowed his eyes. “Really?”

“The next one will be slathered in ketchup as is my custom,” Jim replied.

Bones scowled. “In the interest of not causing a scene, fine. You can pay for half of the room. I am not, however conceding on dinner. You’ll have to suck it up and deal.”

Jim grinned. “Compromise is an important part of every relationship, or so I hear.”

Bones sighed and angled his chair to get a better view of the ocean. The dolphins were playing; at least, that was what it looked like from the distance they were at. They kept popping in and out of the water. It was cute.

“Too bad they’re sociopaths,” Jim said brightly.

Bones snorted. “And people call _me_ a mood-killer.”

Beginning to laugh, Jim reached his hand across the table. Bones smiled and took it. They sat like that for a long time, just talking and holding hands. Jim felt his cheeks flush from pleasure as they finished their lunch. 

“What do you want to do for the rest of the day?” he finally asked.

“I was thinking a picnic dinner on our deck later,” Bones said. “We can watch the night sky like we did on the beach.”

Jim’s cheeks flushed a second time. “That sounds nice and quiet. Where will we get the food from?”

“You’ll see,” Bones said, and there was a twinkle in his eyes.

Jim frowned. “What if I want steak again?”

“How is that different from normal, where you consume some kind of red meat and a potato product at every meal?” Bones said with a gesture to Jim’s burger and fries.

Jim thought for a second before pointing at Bones. “Touché.”

Bones smirked. “I know what to order for you. Trust me.”

Jim’s face softened. “You know I do.”

Bones looked at Jim for a long time before saying, “Yeah. I do.”

Smiling again, Jim took a bite of his burger. He did trust Bones, more than anyone else in the world.

He was pretty positive he could trust him with his heart, too.

\-----

Several hours later, Jim found himself pacing around the cabin. Bones had disappeared to get dinner about fifty minutes ago after making a mysterious call ten minutes before that, and Jim was not only starving, he was getting worried.

Why did he only ever worry about Bones?

He grabbed a glass of water and continued to pace around the cabin. Then he sat and reread _Bartleby_.

He was just at the third “I would prefer not to” when there was a knock on their door. Jim threw the book down and ran over to it, before schooling his features into his _I’m Jim Kirk, the Coolest Guy in the Room_ expression. He looked through the peephole and saw it was Bones with his arms full of a large wooden basket.

Apparently, he had not been kidding when he said they were having a picnic dinner. 

Jim opened the door. “Hey, you’re back,” he said and he leaned in for a kiss. Bones obliged him and stepped inside. 

“Just give me a minute to set this up,” Bones said as he juggled the basket to open the back door and make his way outside. “Sorry it took me so long, I had to make a second stop on the way back.”

Jim smiled. “It’s okay. I wasn’t worried.” It was a good thing Bones wasn’t paying enough attention to call him out on his lie.

“Turn on the deck light, will you? It’s sunset, but we’re going to be out here when it gets dark.”

Jim did turn the light on, and it bathed the deck in a soft glow. It was warm without being obtrusive, and Jim watched Bones spread a blanket on the ground. He began to pull things from the basket, such as a bottle of red wine, wine glasses, a corkscrew, two covered plates, two additional small covered plates, one large covered plate, and a foil-wrapped something which must have been bread. Then he took out plates and honest to goodness silverware.

“I borrowed this from the lodge restaurant, we’ll have to return them tomorrow,” Bones explained as he knelt on the blanket. “Come join me.”

Jim sat across from him with his legs crossed. “What’s all this?”

“I figured we could eat family-style,” Bones explained as he uncovered the dishes. There was a relish tray, toasted cheese bread, two green salads, two baked potatoes slathered in sour cream, and a huge platter of lobster tail, pork ribs, filet mignon, and a chicken breast. 

Jim’s eyes widened. “I know I eat a lot, but even I’m not sure about all of this.”

“We’ll make do,” Bones said as he began to open the wine. The cork came out easily with a pop, and Bones poured them each a glass. “Let this breathe a bit before you start drinking it.”

Jim nodded; he was no wine expert, and he decided it was better to default to Bones on such matters. He did, however, dig into the food. Jim began to eye the filet mignon pointedly.

“Yes, the steak is all yours,” Bones said as he grabbed a piece of the bread. 

Jim beamed at him. He grabbed the steak and put it on his plate as Bones grabbed the lobster tail. He took a sip of the wine, which told Jim that it was safe to drink it. 

After the steak, though.

They talked and ate as the sun dipped lower and lower on the horizon until it was gone all together, leaving a sky that was tinged red and violet. 

There was something Jim was wondering, though, and he decided it was safe to go ahead and ask.

“Are you always going to be like this?” Jim said. “When I fall in love with you, I mean.” 

Bones looked confused. “Like what?”

“Like how you’re being this weekend, with all the romance,” Jim explained. “Are you always going to be this way?”

“When time allows for it,” Bones answered. “Unfortunately, I doubt life on board a starship allows for a lot of it, but when there’s time, then yeah.”

“That makes sense,” Jim said. “I mean, we might not even end up on the same ship.” That thought made something cold and hard form in Jim’s stomach. He felt sick just thinking about it.

“We’ll work it out, there’s time before all that’s decided,” Bones said. “And if the disciplinary hearing doesn’t go my way, we’ll work that out too.”

That made Jim feel even sicker. What with the entire dating business, he had all but forgotten. 

Bones looked at Jim over his wine glass and sighed. He set the glass down and moved so that he was sitting next to Jim. “I am such an idiot,” he said under his breath. Bones then wrapped his arms around Jim, pulling him close. “I’m not getting kicked out.”

Jim sighed and closed his eyes; the proximity to Bones made him feel a lot better, but he still didn’t feel well, either. Jim grasped Bones’ arms with his hands and let the sound of his breathing calm him. 

“I’m not getting kicked out,” Bones repeated, and Jim leaned back into him. They sat together for a while longer, until finally Jim opened his eyes.

“We should eat,” he said, and it came out a little shaky. Bones made an agreeing noise, but he didn’t move. He instead reached across the blanket to get his plate and utensils. They went back to eating, as close as they could without impeding themselves, and little by little, the mood went back to where it was before. 

They still had wine left after they finished their dinner, and they sat together in silence. It was comfortable and familiar, and Jim found he was glad that Bones could just sit with him and not have to speak. 

They really did make a good pair.

Yeah, it wouldn’t be long at all, Jim thought as Bones pressed kisses first to his cheek and then to his lips. 

He was falling fast.

\-----

Unfortunately, like all good things, the weekend had to come to an end.

Jim and Bones spent Sunday at the beach, swimming and laying on the sand together. Jim was appreciative of the tan Bones got, even if he himself turned a bit pink from the sun. They had talked a lot that day, not about anything in particular, and it was really wonderful.

They dined at Nepenthe a second time, much to Jim’s delight. This time he was brave and ordered the duck, while Bones had the scallops. They again drank scotch and enjoyed the apple pie once they were done.

Bones remembered the way to their spot on the beach, and it was just as magical and deserted that night. Jim hoped Bones would always remember how to get there, because he couldn’t imagine a place he was happier on Earth.

They spent Monday morning holed up on the deck of the Lucia Lodge, stopping to have lunch in the restaurant one last time before heading back north to San Francisco. 

The city skyline loomed before them, and Jim, who had been chatting avidly with Bones, suddenly grew silent. Being back in San Francisco meant they were back to reality. Jim had no choice but to remember that Bones’ future was at the mercy of the Starfleet brass. 

“You okay?”

“No,” Jim answered truthfully. “I’m sick because of what’s might happen to you.”

Bones took his right hand off the wheel and placed it on Jim’s knee. Without even thinking about it, Jim reached out and placed his hand over Bones’. “I already told you, it’ll all be all right.”

Jim sighed. “You keep saying that, and I know I shouldn’t freak out until something actually happens, but God I just am stuck on the worst possible case scenario.”

Bones sighed as he turned down 19th Avenue heading towards the Golden Gate Bridge. “There is really no sense in panicking until I’ve actually been given my walking papers.”

“I’m not really panicking,” Jim said. “I just feel sick, that’s all.”

Bones didn’t say anything to that as they continued to drive. “You up for an early dinner?”

Jim blinked at the abrupt subject change. “I guess. I feel like drinking more, to be honest.”

Snorting a little, Bones turned onto Crossover. “Let’s go to the Presidio Social Club. We’ll eat and drink all night.”

Jim looked at Bones over his sunglasses. “You trying to get me drunk to have your way with me?”

Bones actually looked moderately insulted. “You’re the one who said you wanted to drink, first of all, and second of all, we both know if I wanted to have my way with you I wouldn’t need to ply you with whiskey.”

Jim pouted a little. “Am I that obvious?”

“You’ve been taking the world’s longest showers all weekend,” Bones said. “You’re either using them to cover up jerking off or you’re trying out for the Starfleet Academy synchronized swimming team and find pools to be plebian. Plus we both know how long my memory is, and I haven’t forgotten about you tackling me Friday night.”

Busted. “I wouldn’t need to take the showers if you would stop being all proper and well-bred for ten minutes.”

“You must not think much of me if you think it’s only gonna last ten minutes,” Bones said in a haughty tone.

Jim’s face flushed. “No. That…I didn’t mean to imply that.”

Bones took his eyes off the road to stare at Jim.

“I didn’t! I wasn’t making an innuendo for once!” Jim flailed a bit. “I was just saying you should loosen up. It’d be more fun.”

Just then, Bones parallel parked on the street. They had arrived at the club. As was now their custom, Bones got out first and opened Jim’s door.

“You’re not having fun?” Bones asked quietly.

Jim’s eyes widened. “No, I didn’t mean to imply that either! God, I’m sorry, I’m just sticking my fucking foot all in it right now. It must be the nerves, but no I’m having probably the best time I’ve ever had. Please don’t think I’m not enjoying myself, because I really, truly am.”

Bones relaxed at this. “Okay.” Bones placed his hand against the small of Jim’s back and steered him to the restaurant’s front door. “Do you want to eat outside?”

“Yeah, that sounds nice,” Jim said as they made their way to the hostess. She was very pretty, with long dark hair pulled back in a braid and olive skin. 

“Hello, how may I help you?” she asked, and she smiled brightly at Jim.

“Two, outside if possible,” Bones said. 

“Of course, right this way,” she said as she grabbed menus and showed them to their table. “Let me know if there’s anything…else I can do for you,” she said pointedly to Jim.

“We will, thanks,” Jim replied and smiled at Bones. The same Bones who had an eyebrow raised. The hostess hesitated a second before going back to her post, leaving Jim to stare back at Bones. “What?”

“She was hitting on you,” Bones said. “She was hitting on you, and you didn’t even notice.”

Jim took of his sunglasses and turned back in the direction the hostess had gone. “No, she wasn’t.” Was she?

Holy shit, actually…she had been. It hadn’t even occurred to him to flirt back. 

Wow.

“Who are you, and what have you done with Jim?” Bones teased with a grin.

Now Jim felt unhappy. “I’m not going to flirt with someone else when we’re on a date, and it pisses me off that you think I would,” he said to Bones.

Bones sighed. “It’s not that I think you’d be disrespectful, I just haven’t ever seen you not flirt with someone who started it. I was surprised, not poking fun. Well, okay, I poked a little fun. But I don’t think you’d do that, Jim, and I’m sorry you got that impression.”

Jim relaxed. It wasn’t like him to get so defensive, but part of him had been really hurt that Bones would possibly think something like that. “It’s okay. But now I really do need a drink.”

Bones laughed. “I think our server should be here any second,” he said, and sure enough, a man came over to their table. He was tall and dark like Gary, but tan like Bones. 

“Hello, my name is Tom, and I’ll be taking care of you both tonight. Can I start you off with something to drink?”

“Four Roses, rocks for me, and a Jack Daniels straight up for my companion,” Bones answered.

“Make that a double,” Jim added.

“Right away,” Tom said, and he took off to put in their orders. Bones reached out his hands, and Jim took them. 

Something occurred to Jim then, and he looked curiously at his…boyfriend? Lover? Partner? “I don’t know what to call you.”

“I thought you had settled on _Bones_ three years ago, because what was it? Oh right, _Leonard sounds like your grandfather_.” Bones said.

Their drinks arrived, and Jim immediately took a long drink of his whiskey. “No, dumbass, I mean what to call you in regards to our new and somewhat different relationship status. Are you my boyfriend?”

Bones shook his head as he finished a sip of his bourbon. “I’m too old to be anyone’s boyfriend.”

“You’re thirty-one, not fifty, and even fifty year olds can be boyfriends,” Jim pointed out. “I don’t think lover is appropriate until we sleep together. So are you my partner?”

“We don’t have to label ourselves,” Bones pointed out. “We can just be Jim and Bones like we always have been.”

Jim mulled this over for a minute. “That works. We’ll be just Jim and Bones.” He took another long drink of his whiskey. “I wasn’t kidding about drinking tonight.”  
“So I can tell,” Bones said with a half-smile. “It’s fine. I mean, I drove.”

Jim nodded. Tom came back, and they quickly made their food orders; they elected to split the bone-in ribeye for two and an order of the mac and cheese.

“You’re going to make me fat,” Jim complained once their food arrived. “Is that how you’re going to keep me?”

“I like you the way you are, actually,” Bones said as he took a bite of the steak. “Besides, it’s not like we sat around this weekend. We must have walked over twenty miles and ran ten.”

Jim didn’t say anything, but he was pleased at what Bones said. He flushed a little and finished his drink. One drink turned into two, which turned into four or five, and before he knew it he was drunk. Bones was paying the check, and Jim figured it had to be about 2100 or 2200 by the time all was said and done.

“We goin’ home?” he slurred.

“Yeah, I think they’re trying to close,” Bones said. “You okay to walk?”

“I’m not _shitty_ ,” Jim proclaimed proudly. “I’m just happy. Happy drunk Jim!”

Bones looked at Jim for a long time. “Well, I’ll take it over maudlin drunk Jim.”

“Since when do I get maudlin drunk?” Jim said as he stood from his chair. Bones quickly walked over and placed a hand on his back to help steady him. 

“Your birthday,” Bones answered.

“Oh right,” Jim said with a flourish. “I do get maudlin drunky on my birthday. But I think that’s justif…justifib...allowed!”

Bones ushered Jim into the car, and drove the short distance from the Social Club to their dorm. Bones managed to juggle Jim’s bag and Jim, who had decided that the easiest way to walk involved burying his face in Bones’ neck.

“Mmm…” Jim purred. “Anyone ever tell you how good you smell? You smell all…man-like and rugged.”

“Thanks,” Bones said as he steered Jim to his room. Jim immediately flopped on his bed, kicking off his shoes.

“Hey Bones?”

Bones didn’t answer, as he began to unpack Jim’s bag.

“Bones?”

Bones continued the unpacking.

“ _Bones!_ ”

Bones sighed. “Yes, Jim?”

“C’mere,” Jim sat up on the bed and gave his best _come hither_ expression. Unfortunately, in his drunken state, this meant that just ended squinting a whole lot.

Bones looked at Jim. “You’re trying to get me to renege on the no-sex-until-you’re-in-love-with-me thing.”

“What?” Jim went from squinting to a wide-eyed picture of innocence. “No, I just want you to sit with me.”

“My stuff is still in the car,” Bones said.

“Just sit with me,” Jim said. Drunk Jim wasn’t above begging. “Please.”

Bones sighed. “Okay, just for a bit.” He climbed onto the bed and sat next to Jim. Jim immediately grinned and wrapped his arms around Bones.

“My Bones,” Jim sighed happily. “My lovely Bones.”

Bones didn’t say anything, but he did stroke Jim’s hair.

“You should stay in here tonight,” Jim continued. “I mean, I’m all used to sleeping with you now. So you should stay.”

“I’ll think about it,” Bones said. Jim exhaled loudly, before turning his face up to Bones. 

“Here,” Jim said as he leaned in and kissed Bones. His aim was a little off, and he only caught the corner of his mouth. “Whoops. Let me do that again.” He grabbed Bones’ face in between his hands and kissed him; it went much better the second time.

Slowly, Bones began to kiss him back, and Jim, while drunk, wasn’t stupid. He shifted and angled them so they had to lie down. Bones was on his back with Jim pressed into his chest, and they continued to kiss.

Unfortunately, Bones broke it. “I’m not doing this with you drunk,” he declared.

“I told you, it’s not a sex thing,” Jim said. “It’s a I-want-to-make-out-with-you thing. We haven’t done that. Make out, I mean. So why not?”

Bones sighed. “Because making out leads elsewhere, and I told you, I’m not having sex with you for the first time while you’re drunk.”

“Aww boo,” Jim countered. “But…”

“No, Jim.”

Jim pouted before placing his head back on Bones’ chest. “Okay. Sorry. Wasn’t trying to be a jerk.”

Bones sighed and wrapped his arms around Jim. “No, I know you weren’t. I’m not mad or anything. I just…not like this, okay?”

“Mmmm…okay…” Jim sighed as he snuggled in closer. “I gotta say, the whole making us wait thing is surprisingly hot.”

“Thanks,” Bones said. There was a long silence, and Jim’s eyes drifted closed. He began to fall asleep. “Jim? Jim, I gotta…”

“Stay,” Jim mumbled sleepily. “Please.”

Bones sighed. “You’re lucky that I love you.”

“Mmm…I am…I’m lucky,” Jim said as he fell asleep.

\-----

The next morning, Jim awoke feeling like a dirty wet sock had been shoved into his mouth.

Oh, God, all the whisky. He drank _all of the whisky_ the night before. Jim sat up and grabbed his head. He was hungover, but not horribly so.

He was also alone.

Where was Bones?

Jim got up and stretched, and then made his way through their suite to Bones’ room. The bed hadn’t been slept in, and Bones’ bag sat on the floor still unpacked. Jim scratched his head and checked their bathroom door; it was wide open, so obviously Bones wasn’t in there. The kitchenette was empty, so Bones wasn’t in there either.

Confused, Jim went back into his room and looked around. There was a folded piece of paper and a hypospray on his bedside table. 

Jim picked up the piece of paper; it was a note from Bones.

_Jim,_

_I had to leave for my hearing with the Admiralty. The hypospray’s for hangovers; go ahead and self-administer it. I’ll be home by lunch, and I promise I’ll come straight back no matter what happens._

_Love,  
Bones_

Jim gasped and checked the chronometer; it was just after ten. He gave himself the hypospray and sat on the bed. 

All he could do now was wait.

He sat, waiting patiently on their cough for roughly four minutes before he loudly exclaimed, “Fuck that.”

First, he showered, and he sneakily used Bones’ shampoo again. Then he got dressed in his cadet reds. He ate a heaping bowl of cereal with a cup of coffee. He finished unpacking his bag. 

If Bones got kicked out, he was going with him.

That was all there was to it. He couldn’t imagine a life without Bones by his side, and if Jim stayed in Starfleet while Bones was kicked out, then that wouldn’t be possible. Sure, they could do the long distance thing, but it just didn’t feel right with how new things were between them.

And Jim really didn’t want a ship if Bones couldn’t be his CMO. Bones balanced him perfectly; he kept him honest, and he grounded him. They fit together so well…in a lot of ways they were the perfect team. 

Which made Jim realize something else that he probably should have the first time Bones admitted that he loved him.

Being with Bones romantically filled a hole Jim hadn’t known he had. It was like his heart had been asleep and it finally woke up. Kissing Bones had been a revelation, but potentially losing Bones was an altogether different epiphany. 

Jim was in love with him. 

And so, Jim would leave Starfleet if Bones was thrown out. He wouldn’t allow Bones to argue with him about it. 

It was a done deal.

So Jim now sat on the edge of their coffee table facing their front door. It had been a little more than an hour when he heard the door open. Jim immediately stood, and Bones entered the suite.

“I was afraid you’d sleep the day away,” Bones said with a smile. “I’m glad to see you…”

“I’m quitting!” Jim blurted out.

Bones furrowed his brows. “Okay? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m quitting Starfleet,” Jim explained. “I’m not doing this.”

Now Bones looked straight-up bewildered. “You’re what?”

“I’m quitting. I’m not staying in Starfleet in spite of you getting kicked out. They can’t make me dance for them while you have to swallow your fate like a good little boy taking medicine for the first time.”

Now Bones got a look on his face like he understood. “Jim…”

“I can’t do this without you. More to the point, I _refuse_ to do this without you.” Jim paced around the living area somewhat frantically. “So I quit.”

“They’re letting me keep the _Enterprise_.”

“We’ll pack our stuff, and we can figure out a place to live. You can start your own practice and I’ll…what?” Jim stopped dead in his tracks. He blinked owlishly at Bones.

“They’re letting me keep my position as Chief Medical Officer of the _Enterprise_ ,” Bones repeated. “And I’m not supposed to tell you this…although they’re probably expecting me to, the bastards, but you’re going to be getting a comm from Pike today giving you permanent orders to replace him as Captain.”

Jim blinked. “I…we’re…it all worked out?”

Bones walked up to him and placed both hands on his face. “I’ve been telling you it would.”

Jim placed his hands over Bones’. His eyes began to sparkle. “We’re going to be together.”

“Yeah,” Bones said. Growing more serious, the smile left his face. “You were really willing to quit for me? Why? Why would you have done that?”

Jim took a deep breath, before saying simply, “Because I love you.”

Bones’ eyes widened. He swallowed twice. “Just like that?”

“Just like that,” Jim replied. He leaned in and kissed Bones chastely on the mouth. Bones sighed and kissed him again. They stayed together for a long time, and Bones let go of Jim’s face to grab him possessively by the waist. He began to walk them back towards his bedroom.

“Bones,” Jim whispered as he let himself be led. “Are you lifting the sex embargo?”

“Unless you don’t want me to,” Bones said as he began to unzip Jim’s uniform jacket. 

Jim looked at Bones as if to say _you must be out your damn mind_. “We both know I’m not stupid.”

Bones chuckled. “Good.”

And then he pounced.

That was the only word for it, as suddenly Bones hands and mouth were everywhere. It was rather unexpected after all the gentlemanly ways Bones had been behaving during the weekend. Still though, he had said he wanted Jim for years. Jim figured he couldn’t hold back anymore.

Or maybe, Jim had made Bones just that happy.

Regardless, Bones began to suck on Jim’s Adam’s apple as he pulled the jacket down his arms. He broke contact just long enough to pull Jim’s undershirt over his head and toss it across the room. Bones then got down on his knees, holding Jim close to him and resting his head against his stomach.

Jim sighed and put his hands in Bones’ hair. Bones began to lick and suck on the skin just above Jim’s waistband. Jim gasped and threw his head back as he felt his face flush. His cock began to harden in his pants, and Jim was suddenly very glad Bones had the foresight to bring them into his room.

Jim let go of Bones’ hair long enough to pull on the shoulders of his jacket. Bones looked up at him but didn’t stop sucking on his skin.

“Off,” Jim said. “Please.”

Bones pulled off him and breathed heavily for a second. “Sure.” He unzipped his jacket, throwing it across the room like he did Jim’s undershirt. Bones wore a Medical blue tank top underneath his jacket, and Jim noticed how well the color complemented him. Bones stood and grabbed Jim, spinning him and shoving him into the wall. 

“Shit,” Jim yelped, or tried to as Bones began to plunder his mouth with his tongue. Jim mewled into it, grabbing Bones’ hair and shoulder to steady him. Bones slid a knee up in between Jim’s thighs, rubbing it against his cock. Jim broke the kiss to gasp.

“Like that?” Bones growled as he did it again, more insistently this time.

“Fuck yes,” Jim said as he started to ride Bones’ thigh. “Shit.”

Bones growled a second time, burying his face in Jim’s neck. He grabbed Jim’s wrists and held them up above his head. Jim continued to slide his groin up and down Bones’ thigh.

It was good, but it wasn’t good enough.

“More please,” Jim begged. “I need to feel you.”

Bones pulled back from Jim to look at his face; he must have decided he was satisfied with what he saw there, because he said “God you are pretty when you beg, darlin’.”

Jim groaned. “Don’t tease me, just fuck me.”

Bones chuckled. “Don’t move,” he commanded as he let go of Jim’s wrists. Bones gave him a quick kiss on the lips as he went across the room to his nightstand and began to fish something out of the top drawer. Jim obeyed his orders and stayed standing against the wall, with his arms positioned above his head. When Bones turned around, he had a condom in one hand and a tube of lubricant in the other.

“Thank God,” Jim said. “Just…thank God.”

Bones smirked and walked back over to Jim. He put the foil packet in between his teeth and set the lube on a shelf conveniently next to Jim. He then reached his left hand down and tormentingly, horrifyingly slowly undid Jim’s fly.

Jim knocked his head back into the wall. 

“I can’t wait to taste you,” Bones mumbled around the condom with a pointed stare down at Jim’s erection. 

Jim groaned. He didn’t know if he preferred that or getting fucked. 

“I’ll save that for later,” Bones said as he pushed Jim’s pants and briefs the rest of the way down his thighs to his knees. Jim went a step further and kicked one leg free, losing his boot in the process. Bones then grabbed the lube and coated three fingers in it. Sliding his hand down in between Jim’s thighs, past his balls, and to his entrance, Bones pushed a finger into Jim, who cried out.

“Oh, _yes_ ,” Jim sighed as his legs started to shake. It was even better than his daydreams in the shower all those times. Bones slid his finger in as far is it would go, pausing to press against Jim’s prostate. He slid it in and out a few more times before adding the second, and then the third fingers. Sweat was pouring down Jim’s face and throat, and he whined a little as he rutted against Bones’ hand. “I’m gonna come if you keep this up…”

Bones’ eyes darkened from their usual hazel to an almost impossible shade of inky green. Jim decided that he would do whatever he could to make that look happen in the future, because that shit was _hot_. “Almost time, darlin’.”

Bones withdrew his fingers and undid his own pants, pulling his cock free of his boxers. Spitting the condom out of his mouth, Bones tore open the packet. Jim caught his hands and took the condom from him.

“Let me,” he said, and he carefully rolled the condom onto Bones’ really excellent big-but-not-too-much-so cock. Bones grabbed the lube a second time and slathered some onto the condom, carelessly dropping the tube onto the floor.

“Ready?” Bones asked, and in that moment he was gentleman Bones again; Jim nodded. He wrapped his arms under Jim’s legs, pushing him up higher on the wall. Jim followed his lead and pushed himself up, wrapping his legs around Bones waist to give him easier access. “Okay,” Bones said as he slid into Jim inch by inch. 

Jim gasped as he was filled and stretched; it burned a little, but it mostly just felt so fucking good. Bones was buried as far as he could go, and Jim again put one hand in Bones’ hair and the other one on a shoulder hard enough to bruise. 

“Move,” Jim commanded. Bones, who was also sweating, nodded, and began to thrust up and into Jim. “Ah!” Jim cried out as Bones slid in and out of him. 

_Fuck yeah_. This was definitely better than his fantasies. 

After a few minutes of fucking him, Bones shifted the angle of his hips, hitting Jim’s prostate.

“Oh God!” Jim shouted. “Shit!”

“Yeah,” Bones said as he kept moving that way. He was driving Jim into the wall, and Jim pulled his hair hard enough to cause pain.

Whatever, Bones wasn’t complaining. He was just making these growly noises and panting into Jim’s throat. Jim tightened his legs around Bones’ waist and felt his orgasm building. 

“I’m gonna come,” he whimpered, and Bones nodded.

“Go ‘head,” Bones said in response as he began slamming into him. “Right behind ya’.”

Jim whimpered again, and it caught on the edge of a scream as his orgasm tore out of him, spurting all over Bones’ shirt. Bones growled again and thrust hard twice before suddenly shouting and going still. 

_Fuck_.

“Fuck,” Jim said out loud as his vision cleared. Bones was breathing heavily against him; he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. “Jesus.”

Bones sighed. “I need to let you go, Jim.”

Oh shit, that’s right, Bones was supporting his weight. “Sorry,” Jim said as he untangled his legs from around Bones’ waist. Bones let one go at a time, putting Jim gently back on his feet. Pulling out of him as gently as he could, Bones held the used condom in place so it wouldn’t get stuck. 

Jim wiped his sweaty hair out of his eyes. “So. We’re doing that as often as possible.”

Bones snorted and pulled the condom off his cock to toss it into the recycler he kept in his room. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Jim kicked off his other boot and fully freed himself from his pants and underwear. “For now, can we lie down? My legs feel all weird.”

Bones smiled, and with his face flushed and hair messed up, Jim thought he never looked more beautiful. “Sure.”

“Oh good,” Jim said as he took a few steps before flopping onto the left side of Bones’ bed. “Hey Bones?”

Bones, who was in the process of stripping out of his own clothes, looked at Jim. “Yeah?”

Jim smiled at him. “I love you.”

Bones lay on the bed next to Jim. He pulled him in close for a long, sweet kiss. “I love you too, Jim.”

They snuggled up together and drifted off to sleep.

\----

True to Bones’ word, Jim received a message from Pike with the orders to not only take over as Captain and Commanding Officer of the _USS Enterprise_ , but there were additional instructions for he and all other Starfleet personnel to convene in the auditorium for an official ceremony where Jim would not only be presented his captaincy, but a commendation for his bravery during the _Narada_ incident.

So there they were, Jim and Bones standing outside of the auditorium as they watched their fellow cadets and other Starfleet personnel enter the building.

“Nervous?” Bones asked as he brushed some imaginary dust off Jim’s shoulders. 

Jim sighed. “I mean, I’m not a fan of dog and pony shows, but I wouldn’t say I’m nervous. I just want it over with.”

“Understandable,” Bones said. “Not much of a fan of pomp and circumstance myself.”

Jim smiled. “I would have never guessed.”

“Hush, you,” Bones admonished. They smiled at each other for a long time. 

“Doctor,” a voice called from a couple of steps below them. “Captain.” Jim and Bones turned, and there stood Hikaru Sulu and Pavel Chekov.

“Hey,” Jim said warmly as they walked up to them. “How are you guys?”

“Okay, all things considered,” Sulu said. “How about you two?”

“Never better,” Jim said. He looked at Bones, who had gone from smiling to a more neutral expression. Jim was momentarily confused before he remembered that was how Bones acted with people he didn’t know very well. 

“Can’t complain,” Bones added, and Jim couldn’t help but nudge him in the side.

“It is nice to have something to look forward to,” Pavel explained as they began to walk inside the building. “The situation with Nero was very bad.”

“Mmm,” Jim said. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

Together they walked down the inside stairs toward the front of the auditorium proper. There were three seats together in one of the front rows; Nyota Uhura sat in a chair next to them. 

“Captain,” a Starfleet officer Jim didn’t recognize came over to him. “This way, please,” she said as she began to usher him to a spot directly in front of where the Admiralty would sit.

“But…” Jim said as he looked over his shoulder towards Bones. Bones had a look in his eyes that said _don’t worry about it_ , and he moved to sit next to Pavel. Jim saw Bones exchange small talk with Uhura, and the group began conversing more animatedly together.

Jim stood in his place, trying not to fidget as much as possible. After a couple of minutes, the Admiralty entered the room. Everyone immediately stood to attention.

“At ease,” Barnett said as he moved from his position in the center of the table to stand directly in front of Jim. “This assembly calls _Captain_ James Tiberius Kirk.”

Jim inhaled.

“Your inspirational valor and supreme dedication to your comrades are in keeping with the highest traditions of service and reflect utmost credit to yourself, your crew, and the Federation,” Barnett continued. “It is my honor to award you with this commendation.”

An officer brought a box over to Barnett and opened it. Barnett took the medal out of the box, and Jim couldn’t help but smile.

Barnett pinned the medal onto Jim’s jacket. “By Starfleet order 28455, you are hereby directed to report to Admiral Pike, _USS Enterprise_ , for duty as his relief.”

Barnett extended his hand, and Jim, who was still smiling, shook it. He turned and made his way over to Admiral Pike, who happened to be in front of the section where Bones and the others’ sat. 

Pike looked up at Jim with a proud expression, and it caused Jim to swallow thickly and look up towards the ceiling.

“I relieve you, sir,” Jim said.

Pike smiled. “I am relieved.” 

Jim brought his eyes back down to Pike’s face, and again he smiled. “Thank you, sir.”

Pike held out his hand for Jim to shake and said “Congratulations, Captain. Your father would be proud.”

As Jim shook Pike’s hand, the room burst into applause and cheers. Jim looked around the room, first at the Admiralty, then at his fellow cadets, and finally to Bones. 

Things really had worked out for the best.


End file.
